Mario Balotelli ‘better than Sean Dundee’

In a heated exchange at a press conference ahead of tonight’s Capital One Cup quarter final between Liverpool and Bournemouth, Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers has leapt to the defence of misfiring striker Mario Balotelli, insisting that the Italian international and Premier League winner’s medal holder is “somewhat better” than Sean Dundee, the nineties Anfield flop whose name consistently appears near the top of humorous lists of ‘Worst Ever Liverpool Players’. “Mario has scored decent goals against reasonable lower league opposition in this competition and has also netted for us against a little-known Bulgarian side”, the normally mild-mannered coach pointed out when questioned about the striker’s poor form, building up to an extraordinary expletive-filled rant: “Dundee scored fuck all for us against anyone, in all competitions, in case you’ve forgotten. Has Tynchy Stryder recorded a song about Sean Dundee? Has he? Didn’t fucking think so. Everyone’s giving me all kinds of shit for signing ‘Mad Maz’ for sixteen million – but what kind of a cunt does that make Roy Evans? Answer me that, you bastards.” Recovering his composure somewhat, the under-fire boss maintained that “Balo” could “still do a job” for any number of promotion-chasing League One sides. “And that’s a tough league, by the way.”

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