QPR Already Preparing for Life in the Premier League

Queens Park Rangers manager Harry Redknapp has revealed that he is already bracing himself for the club’s instant return to the Premier League in the 2016-17 season following their inevitable relegation to the Championship at the end of the current term. “Obviously, it’s gonna be hugely disappointing for the fans and everyone connected with the club when we go straight back up to the Premier League again” he admitted to a Sky Sports reporter in an impromptu interview from his car while leaving the club’s training facility, “but we have to be realistic. My focus at this moment in time is on ensuring that we’ll have in place a ragtag band of overpaid has-beens and almost-wases – a kind of Premier League Museum, if you will – who can royally screw things up for us again and make the club a laughing stock rather than the venerable footballing institution it once was, while laughing all the way to the bank throughout the whole sorry fiasco. Tony [Fernandes, QPR chairman] is already mulling a twelve million pound bid for the lad Cleverley [Manchester United midfielder and Aston Villa loanee Tom Cleverley] who should fit our profile nicely by then, and we’re also looking at the lad Anderson [Manchester United midfielder and Fiorentina loanee Anderson]. The lad Gyan [former Sunderland striker Asamoah Gyan] would probably be someone we’d consider, as would Adrian Mutu, who I always thought was a triffic lad. I still have a soft spot for Ricardo Fuller too, who’s always done a job for me (although I might have a bit of trouble swinging that one with Big Tone [Tony Fernandes, QPR chairman]). Dunney [defender Richard Dunne] will still be around to chip in with the odd own goal, and Clint [Hill, professional footballer] is obviously eternal. And I’m sure Joey Barton will also still be on the club’s books – not to play football, obviously, but to keep himself in the public eye with his Twattering, or whatever you call it. So while we’re going through some dark times, it’s not all doom and gloom.”

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