Monthly Archives: April 2015

Playing for Newcastle ‘no excuse for being shit’: Carver

Newcastle United caretaker head coach John Carver has angrily refuted suggestions that his players’ poor performances are understandable considering who they play for. “Obviously, we have a long tradition of winning sod-all at this great club that stretches back to … Continue reading

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Nugent Unsure of Whose Survival Bid He’s Supposed to Be Abetting

England goalscoring legend and noted bell-end David Nugent has admitted that he is confused about which team – Leicester City or Burnley – he is supposed to be helping to remain in the Premier League, ahead of their crunch clash … Continue reading

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Premier League Predictions: 25/04/15

I have a bit of a mountain to climb now, and not much time remaining. Still, I push on, undeterred! Saturday Southampton 1 – 1 Tottenham Hotspur * Burnley 1 – 3 Leicester City * Crystal Palace 2 – 0 … Continue reading

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Premier League Predictions: 18/04/15

Had a great week of predictions last time out – but Merse did even better, the git, so I’m trailing by three and running our of weeks! I remember Leeds coming back from 3-0 down to Southampton and running out … Continue reading

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Nolan No Longer Scoring Goals ‘Because of Chicken Dance’

West Ham United Club Captain Kevin Nolan has confirmed that he has sworn never to score another goal in professional football owing to abuse garnered by his idiotic and infuriating ‘chicken dance’ celebration. “Unfortunately, it’s not just on the social … Continue reading

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Premier League Predictions: 11/04/15

Fell back to two behind Merse last week, and am running out of time to turn things around! Here goes . . . Saturday Swansea City 2 – 2 Everton * Southampton 3 – 1 Hull City ** Sunderland 1 … Continue reading

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Premier League Predictions: 03/04/14

I have another chance to pull level with Merse over this Easter weekend. Here goes nothing . . . Saturday Arsenal 2 – 2 Liverpool Everton 1 – 1 Southampton Leicester City 0 – 2 West Ham United Manchester United … Continue reading

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