New Band to Embark on Nostalgia Tour

Seminal British hard rock band Pegasus are to tour the UK for the first time next month, it has been revealed. “I’m delighted to say that the boys have buried the hatchet and put all of their past differences behind them” pretend manager Dom Arden announced at a hastily convened press conference in Chiswick on Tuesday. “They’re really looking forward to treating the fans who’ve been so loyal and so passionate about their music for so long.”
Speaking on Radio Two this morning, singer Ian Plant – a twenty-two year old recent university graduate from Barnsley – explained, “it’s so hard for new bands to break through and make a living from music these days – so we decided not to bother with the troublesome business of making it in the first place, and just skip right ahead to the lucrative nostalgia circuit.”

“That’s right” chipped in bassist Terry ‘Bloke’ Thain, 20, from Wigan, “the idea is, we started out as a sort of heavy psychedelic blues thing, influenced by Ten Years After and the New Yardbirds – and then headed in a more progressive direction after the addition of keyboard player Jon Emerson, garnering significant critical acclaim for our concept album about the Piltdown Man hoax. We’re pretty sure there’s a decent-sized market out there for that sort of thing, and we’ve already got Stray – who apparently remember touring with us in the early seventies – lined up as a support act.”

“On the tour, we’re just gonna go all out and play all the big songs from our imaginary albums, probably saving ‘Dark Light’ for the encore” Plant continued. “That song was our breakout hit in 1972, and would have secured us our sole appearance on Top of the Pops, had we been alive then. We’re also gonna pretend we wrote ‘Carry On My Wayward Son’ and feature that prominently in the set.”

“A generation of lads grew up wanking over the gatefold sleeve of our 1975 double album Rights of Spring, which featured atmospheric shots of naked chicks wandering around the Ashdown Forest” added Thain, “so I’m pretty sure this is a goer. And if it does go tits up, we’re gonna be a synth pop act from the eighties, influenced by Kraftwerk, Yazoo and the Human League, who used to hang out with Boy George and Nik Kershaw on the London club scene, back in the day.”

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