Feminists: Using ‘Man’ as Negative Prefix Key to Gender Equality

Attaching ‘man’ to the front of a verb or noun with a connotation of naffness is the key to achieving full equality between the sexes in our time, feminists have stated. “We’ve made a lot of progress in making men feel awkward and inhibited about the most basic things, such as talking, sitting and being ill, with recent coinages such as ‘mansplaining’, ‘manspread’ and ‘man flu'” explained Dr Marian Sharap, Senior Lecturer in Baltic Studies at the University of Caterham in an exclusive interview with this blog, “and my colleagues and I are looking to build on this work with our own neologisms that we hope will become part of the vernacular soon. I suggested ‘manaphrasing’ for when men quote you inexactly, and ‘manditating’ for when they sit there blankly not taking in a word you say – and then there’s ‘mancersising’ for the way they throw their weight around at the gym (the entitled twats), and ‘manscuing’, for the irritating fashion in which male firefighters pull people from burning buildings; someone also suggested ‘mansturbating’ and ‘manking’, but those are probably superfluous. Basically, we believe we can soon reach a point where any activity performed by a bloke will carry a whiff of sexism, and where you can’t hear the word ‘man’ without immediately thinking ‘knobhead’. At that moment, we’ll know we’ve achieved utopia.”

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