Monthly Archives: October 2016

Colchester Woman Knows the Value of Everything and the Price of Nothing

A woman from Essex is very good at recognising what is truly important in life but hopeless at remembering what things cost, it has emerged. Speaking to John Humphrys on Radio Four’s Today programme, 42 year-old Colchester resident Anna Jenkins … Continue reading

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Mourinho: “Nobody cares about Liverpool”

Manchester United boss Jose Mourinho has spoken of the crushing sense of ennui that is plaguing him as he faces the prospect of travelling to Anfield with his club for Monday night’s Premier League clash with Liverpool. “Am I a … Continue reading

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Ferdinand First Human to be Granted Immortality

Former QPR, Newcastle United and England footballer Les Ferdinand will live forever, it has been revealed. Speaking at a hastily convened press conference in Bexhill, God made the announcement, noting that He had been considering bestowing eternal life upon a … Continue reading

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