The models who participated in the Victoria’s Secret fashion show in Paris this week are not, in fact, angels at all, research has revealed. Professor Dirk Von Kluftwing, Professor of Biology at the University of Maidenhead, recently published his findings in the Frontiers of Biology journal, and announced his conclusion on Radio Four’s Today show this morning. “I’ve been intrigued by the Victoria’s Secret situation for some time, and began monitoring it closely five years ago, intimately observing the ‘angels’ and studying them as closely as possible from an aesthetic as well as a scientific perspective – it was a tough job, but someone had to do it” he explained to presenter John Humphrys, “anyway, what I basically found was that there was no suggestion of any kind of divine or celestial origin for any single one of them. What they actually are is just extremely good-looking human women. They’ll grow old and die, just like the rest of us.”
How much, if any, damage the findings will do to the Victoria’s Secret brand remains to be seen.