Pervy Git Accused of “Inappropriate Sexual Behaviour”

A randy old perv stands accused of having subjected a string of unwilling female colleagues to various lewd antics and shenanigans over a period stretching back decades, it has emerged. 58 year-old Bob Tramurgle, who cannot be named for legal reasons, has been suspended from his position at the Hythe legal firm Kimley & Sons pending an investigation – while a former administrative assistant with the company has come forward to speak out about the harrassment she experienced at his hands.

“He used to cup my buttocks in his hands and then make out it was an accident” 31 year-old Theresa Hailles, speaking on condition of anonymity, recalled. “And then he’d refer to me as ‘top-notch fanny’ in front of clients, before brushing it of as ‘banter’. He really was a dreadful old lech.” At least six other female employees are believed to have come forward with similar claims.

“These allegations come as no surprise to me whatsoever” observed Mr Tramurgle’s boss, Jay Kimley, when contacted by this website. “I can’t honestly remember a girl coming to work in our office who he didn’t use to perv over in a ridiculously blatant way at one point or another. He used to have this thing about wanting to lick the armpits of women he considered attractive. Other than that, he’s been a very diligent and conscientious employee – and I believe he’s a good guy at heart. Some people just struggle to adapt to the changing mores of our times, and I guess Bob’s one of them.”

Mr Tramurgle has not been available for comment regarding the allegations, and is believed to be engaging in a “period of quiet reflection” with his family.

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