World Cup Predictions: Russia 2018

So, having thoroughly disgraced myself with some of my predictions for last year’s domestic season, I decided to set myself up for yet more humiliation by trying to foretell how the greatest tournament of them all will pan out. Using my top secret ultra-scientific means of predicting the scores for all of the group stages games, here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

Group A:

1. Uruguay (Points 9, Goal Difference +5, Goals Scored 6)
2. Russia (Pts 4, GD 0, GS 4)
3. Egypt (Pts 3, GD 0, GS 2)
4. Saudi Arabia (Pts 1, GD -3, GS 1)

Group B:

1. Spain (Pts 7, GD +6, GS 8)
2. Portugal (Pts 7, GD +5, GS 7)
3. Iran (Pts 3, GD -3, GS 1)
4. Morocco (Pts 0, GD -6, GS 0)

Group C:

1. France (Pts 9, GD +5, GS 7)
2. Australia (Pts 4, GD 0, GS 5)
3. Denmark (Pts 2, GD -1, GS 4)
4. Peru (Pts 1, GD 0, GS 1)

Group D:

1. Argentina (Pts 9, GD +3, GS 6)
2. Croatia (Pts 4, GD +1, GS 5)
3. Iceland (Pts 4, GD 0, GS 4)
4. Nigeria (Pts 0, GD -4, GS 1)

Group E:

1. Brazil (Pts 7, GD +6, GS 8)
2. Serbia (Pts 5, GD +2, GS 5)
3. Switzerland (Pts 3, GD -1, GS 4)
4. Costa Rica (Pts 0, GD -7, GS 1)

Group F:

1. Germany (Pts 9, GD +6, GS 9)
2. Sweden (Pts 4, GD 0, GS 4)
3. Mexico (Pts 2, GD -3, GS 1)
4. South Korea (Pts 1, GD -3, GS 3)

Group G:

1. Belgium (Pts 7, GD +5, GS 9)
2. England (Pts 7, GD +5, GS 7)
3. Tunisia (Pts 1, GD -4, GS 1)
4. Panama (Pts 1, GD -6, GS 1)

Group H:

1. Colombia (Pts 7, GD +4, GS 7)
2. Poland (Pts 7, GD +3, GS 4)
3. Senegal (Pts 3, GD -2, GS 3)
4. Japan (Pts 0, GD -5, GS 2)

It will be interesting (and no doubt mortifying) to see how my predictions measure up against the actual standings at the end of the group stage. And lest anyone imagine that I’m letting my heart rule my head with these predictions, I should say that South Korea, after England (natch) and Serbia, are my third favourite team in the tournament – so I hope I’m way off about Group F. Anyway, in the astronomically unlikely event that I’m right about everything, here’s what the second round will look like:

France vs Croatia
Uruguay vs Portugal
Spain vs Russia
Argentina vs Australia
Brazil vs Sweden
Belgium vs Poland
Germany vs Serbia
Colombia vs England

I won’t make predictions for these hypothetical games, as that would be a bloody silly thing to do. However, I will be putting up correct score predictions for every game of the knock-out stages – so if you’re interested in one random bloke’s opinion, please stay tuned. Final thoughts before the madness begins? I am cautiously optimistic that England will have our best tournament in a good long while, and go out on penalties in the quarters, or possibly the semis. And one last prediction…

Golden boot: Jamie Vardy

OK, so maybe I’m letting my heart rule my head a little with that one! Hope he has a party in Russia though…

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