Category Archives: Politics

EVERYONE STILL BANGING ON ABOUT DONALD TRUMP

Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, it has been confirmed. Advertisements

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Hipsters to Vote Conservative “Ironically”

Britain’s effete, craft coffee-quaffing, vinyl-collecting, vintage fashion-sporting Central Asian cheese enthusiasts are to vote Conservative in the upcoming general election, as an ironic gesture that their friends will find hilarious, it has emerged. Twenty-nine year old bearded tit Max Farnham, … Continue reading

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May to Critics: “You’re all gonna swivel on it.”

You can all lick UK Prime Minister Theresa May’s pussy while she paints her fingernails, it has been confirmed. Speaking to John Humphrys on Radio Four this morning, following her announcement of a snap general election in June, the Tory … Continue reading

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Government to Roll Out Tough Penalties for Doorway Standers

The UK government is set to begin a major crackdown on people pausing to stand around in the doorways of shops, office buildings etc., it has been confirmed. Outlining the proposals, a visibly irate Amber Rudd (Home Secretary to Her … Continue reading

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Left Seeks to Win People Over with Insults and Abuse

The British left intends to persist with its strategy of wooing floating voters by constantly calling them stupid, racist wankers, it has emerged. Interviewed by John Humphrys on BBC Radio Four’s Today programme, Andy Green, of the Labour-affiliated Institute for … Continue reading

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Corbyn: Seagulls ‘Zionist Propaganda Stooges’

Labour party leadership race frontrunner Jeremy Corbyn has sensationally claimed that the seagulls currently terrorising residents and tourists in British coastal communities are acting at the behest of the Israeli state. In his inaugural address to Comrades United, Never Tamed … Continue reading

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Burnham to Blame Society’s Ills on Young Single Mothers

Shadow Health Secretary and Labour Party leadership candidate Andy Burnham is to reinvent himself as a git and a raving misogynist in a bid to close the gap with current frontrunner Jeremy Corbyn, party sources have confirmed. “Andy has recently … Continue reading

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